I AM BEGGING
YOU TO STOP DOING THIS. But chances are,
you don’t even realize you are doing it.
I have spent too many hours listening to people I care about talk
themselves out of their own awesomeness to remain silent a second longer. Why do you keep making excuses for yourself
instead of proudly owning the fact that you are a warrior, and all is fair in
love and war? What is it that you want
desperately that you have effectively talked yourself out of?...Is it a new
career? A new relationship? A different weight or state of fitness? A different (lesser) sense of responsibility
for OTHER people’s happiness? What do
you stand to gain (or lose) if you stop building the case against yourself???
Years ago
there was a bizarre study published that announced something to the effect that
a woman over forty had a better chance of being involved in a terrorist attack
than finding a new relationship. Excuse
me? I don’t know who-the-jack they interviewed or
tracked on this particular “scientific” venture, but holy God in Heaven, that
is the sickest, most twisted piece of information ever delivered to people with
hope. If you have hope, you can get out
of bed in the morning and try again. If
you have hope, you can forgive and maybe eventually forget. If you have hope you know that your past
does NOT determine your future and you would never make choices based on the
false premise that it does. If you have
hope, you are still alive.
Why in the
world would we ever say or do anything ever to kill another person’s sense of
hope and personal optimism? Does it make
sense on any level when not dealing with someone who hopes to jump
off the Chrysler building and fly? I say
if you have a dream, you should be audacious in your pursuit of it. No excuses and no tiptoeing around other
people’s insecurities. Why should you be
less so that other people can convince themselves that they are more? When your friend says, “I feel so fat”, do
you jump on that bandwagon and agree that you are fat too? Or do you say, “What is this “fat” you speak
of, and how does it impact your effectiveness and value in the world?” Are you supporting the people you love or
subtly undermining yourself and them in a process you both interpret as
comfort? Is it comfortable to embrace
mediocrity?
I challenge
you and say it is not. It is not
comfortable and it is not true.
Otherwise, you would be the happiest damn person on the planet right
now. If you are happy, stop reading
right now. But if you are not happy,
consider the fact that you are building a case against yourself and the people
you love with all the good intentions in the world. Are you, or do you have a friend who is
unhappily single? If so, I want you to
consider the dialogue you have with your friend (or yourself) on this subject. Are you single because “there are no good
men/women out there?” Are you single
because you haven’t hit your target
weight/fitness/ success/personality/life?
Are you single because you are just sick and tired and can’t be bothered
to make an effort anymore? Then you are
building a case against yourself and it is total horseshit. Let me explain why.
Really
unconventional looking people are married.
Really unhealthy people are married.
Mean people are married.
Unsuccessful people are married.
Unevolved people are married.
Psychotic people are married.
Sociopathic people are married.
Unfaithful people are married.
Emotionally stunted people are married.
People with a really bad fashion sense are married. Do I need to go on? You are single NOT because of a deficit in
you. You are (probably, most likely)
fine. You are single because you have
built a case against yourself or any potential partner you meet. You have a headset that says, “I am too damn
sexy/old/poor/picky/ successful/strong/smart/ugly/fat/boring/ challenging/generous/
stingy/dumb/unmotivated/or just plain clueless to have a partner.” Or get a new job. Or attain any goal or dream you are
harboring. But even though I have possibly
never met you, I disagree quite emphatically.
What you
believe is who you are. Nothing more and
nothing less. You believe and therefore
you experience. I know that may sound
like New Age mumbo jumbo but I guarantee it is actually your Divine truth. You are so much more than you ever imagined
and so far removed from your mistakes and your past it is laughable that you even
consider them. You are whole and you are
worthy and you are imperfect and you are Holy.
There is nothing that stops you from being the person you are meant to
be but you. And you know, deep, deep
down in your core, who you are meant to be and you always have. So STOP building a case against your
magnificence and accept it. Accept that
you are the person that you always dreamed of being. And then look in the mirror and realize it
has always been true.
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