WHY IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER

How can you not love Bill Murray?  The man is transcendent, lyrical; the ultimate true-to-himself and therefore a rock solid example of life leadership.  However, I get that he may be somewhat generational, so I will only say that if you are a boomer or a Gen-Xer who doesn’t love Bill Murray, then frankly, I think you might be a little off.  Or have a “banana in your tailpipe”, in Eddie Murphy-speak. 

Anyhoo, one of my personal favorite all-time Bill Murray movies is (drum-roll, please!):  the epic summer camp classic, Meatballs!!!  This opinion you need not share; there are so many good ones to choose from.  But between my sister and my best friend from high school, I have quoted this particular movie more often than maybe any other—because, as you know, there are children starving in India and you are walking around with a whole sombrero full of peanuts.  I hope you sleep well.  But the quote that defines “Meatballs”, as it were, is more straightforward and somewhat less (?) comical…“IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER”.  Here is the link to watch Bill Murray at his finest delivering this classic motivational speech:  (I’ll wait).

Okay, when you are done laughing, let’s discuss…does it matter? 

Why?  Can you build a reasonable case for it?  Do you want to?  Or do you want to say, as the entirely less entertaining Tom Cruise said in Risky Business, “WTF?” 

Hmmm, this is turning into a movie quote trivia game, huh?  But guess what…it just doesn’t matter.  No, it doesn’t.  There are very few things in life that need to be taken so seriously that we cannot take this advice to heart.  Boyfriend breaks up with you?  Fantastic!  That ass obviously didn’t appreciate you anyway.  Lose your job?  Did you love it?  Did they love you?  One of these things obviously isn’t true, so good riddance to bad trash. 

The great and powerful Louis C.K. even goes so far as to say divorce is always good news.  Because what great marriage ever ended in divorce?  Ah, King Louis, you steal my heart away.

Victorian era author Samuel Butler once famously said, “The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously”.  Word up, Sam.  How many times in your life, if you are exceedingly and extra honest about it, have you worked yourself up into a tizzy over NOTHING.  NOTHING. 

I will go ahead and call myself out by saying my number is legion.  Perhaps you have more self-control than I do.  But more often than not, as my “drama” played out, I discovered that I had been harboring the infamous “tempest in a teapot” and that a lot of my suffering could have been pre-empted by the wisdom of Bill Murray…it just doesn’t matter. 

My husband used to irritate me when I was in a frenzy by quoting the Blues Travelers song, “It won’t mean a thing in 100 years”; I’d be all—“well, yeah, if you are here in 100 years, you can let me know how that all worked out because I’LL BE DEAD”.   

Of course he (and Blues Travelers and Tom Cruise) are right.  For most things, WTF is the most appropriate response.  WTF is the key to freedom, as long as you don’t use it to turn your parent’s house into a bordello.

Now surely you have heard the expression “Leap and the net will appear”.  This sounds like empirically bad advice, am I right?  But it really is a more graphic and less foolproof sounding version of WTF…it is a credo against playing it safe. 

You think you’re not pretty enough or rich enough or successful enough?  HA!  WTF???

Seriously, DO YOU THINK IT REALLY MATTERS???  Elizabeth Taylor, arguably the most beautiful woman in the history of the planet was MARRIED to Larry Fortensky!!!  The thought of having to kiss that guy makes me want to throw up in my mouth, and I am no Elizabeth Taylor! 

Rupert Murdoch, author of three failed marriages (all good news, says Louis) and creator of FOX News (all bad news, say I) is a super rich guy who is less than admirable in almost every way, IMHO.  So you got looks and/or money?  IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER.  The only thing in the whole wide world that matters is this:  are you happy?  Are you? 

If not, LEAP!  And the net will appear.  If you are happy enough, BRAVO!   YOU ARE MY HERO.

Honestly, at the risk of sounding like some sort of hedonist, MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY.  In a “please drink responsibly” kind of way but SERIOUSLY.  What if we were each responsible for our own happiness and nothing else?  Do you think this would be chaos?  Do you think you are the only person on the planet who cares about how your actions impact others?  Do you think your unhappiness is serving any single human on the planet in a constructive way??? 

WTF, dude?????  WTF, I say!  Nora Ephron, who could be riotous or condescending in fits (See:  “Why Sleepless in Seattle Bugs Me”) once said—“If children had to choose between their mother being happy and fulfilled in Hawaii or crying in the next room, they’d choose crying in the next room every time.”  Ha.  Funny stuff. 

But who in their right mind lets an 8 year old dictate their choices?  NO ONE WANTS AN 8 YEAR OLD IN CHARGE BECAUSE THEY KNOW NOT OF WHAT THEY SPEAK.  But you do.  At least as far as you are concerned.  And you don’t need to be prettier or smarter or richer, you just need to be BRAVER. 

Because apart from this, it just doesn’t matter.  Leap.  You are so worth it.